Never Felt So Empty
by LuckyLadybug
Summary: Shortly after the Pharaoh's Memories arc. The bikers have moved into a house in Domino City and are trying to get back to leading regular lives. But Alister and Valon are still having problems. . . .


**Yu-Gi-Oh!**

 **Never Felt So Empty**

 **By Lucky_Ladybug**

 **Notes: The characters are not mine (except Liu and the gang) and the story is! This takes place shortly after the Pharaoh's Memories arc, in my current timeline.**

It was never easy for former misguided antagonists to try to find a new path in life, but the three musketeers of Doom were doing their darnedest to make it work. Following Raphael's suggestion, they had moved to a house in Domino City and were attempting to live respectably.

One part of that was finding new work. Valon had managed to secure a job first, delivering pizzas for Domino's. He often brought them home for dinner, which he and the others enjoyed. Sometimes he also brought sandwiches or chicken side dishes.

Alister acted at the local theatre when there was a production he was interested in. He was good at becoming characters, the stranger and more humorous the better. They provided a good cover for his true, serious and aloof self. He also took people flying in his private plane. He was pleased that at least some of the skills he had learned under Dartz were still useful, and he enjoyed being up in the sky.

Raphael was having the most difficult time finding something that worked for him. Working behind a desk was not something he particularly enjoyed, but he also wasn't crazy about having to resort to something like construction work in order to not be tied down to a desk. So while he was trying to think of something he might enjoy more, he took on whatever was available.

He was in the process of filling out a job application when an argument from upstairs suddenly burst forth and caused him to drop his pencil. He slumped forward in frustration, propping himself up with a hand to his forehead.

One thing that had not changed in their new lives was his friends' inability to get along. It had driven him nuts more than once while working for Dartz and it was continuing to send him up the wall now. Discovering they had each been concerned about the other's well-being had cooled things enough that they had agreed to continue trying to live together with Raphael, but it had not erased the problems they had understanding each other.

Of course, Alister and Valon were not happy with their problems either. Alister was often threatening to leave, though he hadn't done so yet, and Valon usually told him he should go, albeit he changed his mind when he calmed down.

Right now, he sounded anything but calm.

"Look, what business is it of yours what I do with my time?!"

"Obviously none, but why do you want to go looking for trouble?!"

"Hey, they challenged me to a drag race! I'm not gonna back down!"

"Why, because they'll say you're chicken?"

"Because I back down for nobody! I never did in the past and I see no reason to start now!" Valon thundered down the stairs, his helmet under his arm.

"You're not a street kid anymore, Valon!" Alister followed him down the stairs, not thumping his way down, but still speaking in a raised voice.

"No, but I've still got my pride and my honor!" Valon reached the bottom and turned to face the taller man. "To turn them down would be to throw away both."

Alister was not impressed. "Completely aside from the fact that it's dangerous, the person who challenged you doesn't have honor," he insisted. "He probably won't play fair."

"Well, I'll just have to find that out for meself, now, won't I." Valon marched in determination towards the front door.

"Oh, you'll find out, alright," Alister snapped. "And you probably won't come back from it! Go on. Go prove your honor and your pride . . . and your complete stupidity!"

Valon spun around. "You're calling me stupid?!"

Alister folded his arms. "You heard me."

"Well, I'll show you how stupid I am!" Valon lunged to throw a punch.

That was it. Raphael got up and got between them just as Alister weaved to dodge the flying fist. Raphael caught it in his hand. "Cut it out," he snarled.

Valon pulled his fist free. "Get out of the way, Raph!" he ordered.

"Why, so you can deck Alister?" Raphael glowered. "You know, he's got a point."

"It's not like I went looking for trouble," Valon protested. "I was just out riding my chopper and these blokes rode up to me and their leader challenged me to a drag race. I know he's not a nice guy, same as Alister does, but that doesn't scare me off! If anything, it makes me wanna prove myself all the more. I won't let a cheap thug like that feel like he got the better of me!"

Raphael was not pleased. "It's not like we can stop you."

"That's right, you can't!" Valon stormed towards the door. "You're not my guardians!"

"But," Raphael continued as if Valon hadn't spoken, "we don't want to see you get hurt."

"I won't," Valon said. He hauled the front door open. "Maybe I'm not of legal age, but I'm not an anklebiter. I know my way around gangs in a way you two never could. I can appreciate you bein' worried and all, but this is my turf. I know what I'm doing."

"You'd better," Alister said as he stepped out from around Raphael. "Neither of us wants to get a call from the hospital tonight. Or the morgue."

Valon set his teeth. "Just shut up, Alister," he growled. "I'm sick and tired of how you always think you know more than me, or that I'm so many shingles short that I could never come out on top in something like this. I don't need your opinion and quite frankly, I don't want it! I don't know why we ever thought continuing to live together would work out."

"Well, _quite frankly,_ neither do I!" Alister finally screamed back.

Valon gave him a look filled with anger. "So go to blazes." He went out the door, banging it behind him.

Now Raphael was angry. "Valon . . . !" He ran to the door, moving to haul it open again.

"Don't bother." Alister went into the kitchen and sat down at the table, digging his hands into his hair as he slumped forward. "Just let him go. Any attempt at protesting is just making it worse."

Raphael had to admit that seemed to be true. He turned away in resignation and went into the kitchen. His Ragdoll cat Liu, whom he had found and adopted while working for Dartz, scampered after him and jumped on Alister's lap.

Alister jumped too. Then, sighing but smiling, he petted the soft fur. "Valon had a point too," he said. "We've really tried, Raphael, but this isn't working. I thought maybe discovering we didn't hate each other would help make things better, but we're still at each other's throats. I'm tired of this."

"Me too," Raphael grunted. "I'm never gonna find a decent job this way." But he paused, studying Alister with sadness. "Does this mean you're leaving, though?" There was a certain finality in Alister's words that hadn't been present the other times he had made his threat. That would be chilling enough, but Raphael also heard a blankness, an emptiness, that filled Alister's voice and spread to his eyes. He truly was fed up.

"I don't know what it means," Alister said in frustrated disgust. "What's really the point, Raph? The house is in constant chaos and there are always bad feelings. Maybe I don't understand Valon's determination to do things like this, or how it's not being an idiot, but he doesn't understand that I'm just worried about him!" He trailed off. "I'm always . . . just worried about him. . . ."

"Valon _is_ being an idiot," Raphael said flatly. "Especially if this guy is as bad as you say. But he doesn't wanna hear the truth and we can't stop him. Some things he just has to learn for himself."

Alister slammed his hand on the table. "Even if he dies for it?!"

"If you bail him out, do you think he'll care?" Raphael returned.

Alister scowled. "No. He'll probably hate me." He stood, handing Liu to Raphael. "But I'm going anyway. And after I get him home safe . . . yeah, I'll probably leave. There wouldn't be any point in staying after that. You and I can say pretty much the exact same thing to Valon, but he doesn't fly off the handle except with me. If I'm gone, you and Valon can be at peace. No more chaos and fighting. And Valon will be happier without me. Sure, he and I each wanted to make sure the other was alright after we got back to our bodies, but now we've seen it and we've also seen that we just can't get along. We're too different."

"In some ways, you're both alike," Raphael said. "You each have a bad temper."

"I never thought anything could make me find mine quicker than Kaiba or someone like him," Alister said. "But Valon always manages to push the wrong buttons for me, and vice versa."

Raphael held Liu close, scratching the ruff of fur around her neck. He frowned, his expression filled with sadness. "If you feel you have to leave, then I can't stop you any more than we could stop Valon. But I wouldn't be happier with you gone. I wish you wouldn't go."

Alister turned away. "I'll be alright."

"Where would you even go?" Raphael frowned.

A shrug. "I'd stay in town so I could keep my jobs. And so I could visit you."

Liu meowed.

"Yeah, you too," Alister said in amusement.

"Do you really want to leave?" Raphael pressed.

Alister hesitated. "No," he said softly. "I was hoping I finally had a family again. You never knew, but . . . even when we were with Dartz, I thought of us as a family. I told Kaiba as much. Dartz being our father didn't work out, but . . . I thought we still had each other. Valon is . . . a younger brother. He's . . . not much older than Miruko would be, if he were still alive. I never wanted to fail Valon the way I failed Miruko." He gripped the doorframe. "But Valon isn't Miruko. He doesn't want my help. So I'll do what I can to protect him tonight, if he needs it. If he doesn't . . . I guess I'll just watch from the sidelines. He'll never know I was there. But either way, when it's over, I'll just come back to get my things and then I'll leave. We'll never really be a family, not when there's so much contention, and it's time we all just accepted that."

Raphael looked down at Liu, who was nuzzling him and snuggling closer. "Maybe you're right," he said. "Maybe we've all been fooling ourselves. I thought we could make it work, especially when all we've got is each other. I wanted a family again." He hesitated. "But Valon's never had a family at all. He doesn't know what it's like."

"I'm sure that nun worried about him," Alister said. "And I'll bet he'd never dream of treating her with disrespect. Can you imagine Valon telling a nun what he told me?!"

"No, I can't," Raphael conceded. "But Valon was angry and frustrated. You know he says stuff he doesn't mean when he gets like that. He probably regretted it the instant he got out the door, but he didn't wanna turn around and apologize because he wanted to go have his drag race. And maybe he hoped you'd know he didn't mean it."

Alister sighed and slumped against the doorframe. "You don't think I should leave, do you."

"I think you should go after Valon," Raphael said. "But do I think you should plan not to come back here to live? No. But maybe that's my bias because I don't want you to go."

"You can't really think we can still make it work," Alister said in disbelief.

"I selfishly wish we could," Raphael said. "Families aren't perfect; they can argue a lot. It doesn't mean they should stop trying to be families."

"It's different if you're biologically related," Alister muttered. "Then there's a bond between you even if you argue. An obligation, even. That holds things in place even if all else fails."

"Oh, and I guess that's why so many families fall apart," Raphael said with dripping sarcasm. "Because of their obligatory bonds." He stood. "A lot of biologically related families don't stay together. And some people who aren't related do.

"Alister, people don't have to be biologically related to have a bond. I felt a bond with you and later with Valon too, when he came along. You two became my family! It didn't matter to me that I wasn't related to either of you! I loved you just as much as I loved Sonia and Julien!"

Alister looked up at Raphael in shock. "You mean that," he said softly.

"Yeah, I mean that," Raphael insisted. "I hoped both of you felt that bond too. You've admitted you did."

"But Valon never did," Alister finished. He looked away again, but not before Raphael saw the hurt standing in his eyes. "We can't be a family if we don't all feel the same way."

"I think Valon felt it too," Raphael said. "Maybe he didn't understand what he was feeling because he's never had a family, but we meant enough to him that he went looking for us when we got back to our bodies. And even if he says it's just because he wanted to make sure we were okay, I don't think it was. I think he was looking for us because he felt that bond and he didn't want it to be broken."

"It's a nice thought," Alister said noncommittally.

"So go find Valon and help him if he needs it," Raphael said. "But hold off on your decision to leave. You're right that something has to change for things to work. After you two get back, maybe we can have a meeting, talk about things calmly and rationally, and decide what we can do."

"You're not coming?" Alister said in surprise.

Raphael hesitated. "Maybe I should. I want to. But I think this should really be between you and him."

Alister finally nodded. "Okay. Just don't get your hopes up too high." He headed for the door.

Raphael sighed to himself as Alister headed out. "I guess I'm an idiot, because I still am hoping," he said to Liu. "I think if Valon could really understand why Alister objects to him doing dangerous things, it would make all the difference in the world."

Liu purred.

"Maybe he thinks worrying about him means we think he isn't capable of taking care of himself," Raphael mused.

Liu placed her paws on his shoulder.

"I guess we do worry like that sometimes," Raphael said. "Sometimes he gets in over his head. But don't we all at times? Every one of us needs help now and then. But since Valon's had to fend for himself ever since Mother Mary died, he considers it an insult or a sign of weakness if we act like he's not using the best judgment on something."

He paused, a sick and sad look coming into his eyes. "Still, it all comes back to how Valon treats us differently. He acted like he knew we were both worried, but it didn't stop him from being ticked off at Alister. Alister's right that Valon only seems to get mad when he's the one saying things. Not that he always listens to me if I say it, but he doesn't treat me the way he treats Alister. I've never known why that is. Two personalities that just don't mesh well, I guess."

Liu blinked at him.

He frowned. "Maybe Alister's right that it's never gonna work out. And maybe Valon really doesn't like him, even though he doesn't hate him."

Liu nuzzled him.

Amused, Raphael petted her. "Or maybe I'm being too pessimistic. Valon's come to me so many times, frustrated about Alister being so aloof. I don't think he'd feel that way if he doesn't honestly like Alister on some level and want to get to know him better. But then when Alister does talk, ninety-nine percent of the time Valon flies off the handle. He's such a hothead, he can't stay calm and think about what Alister might mean if he's not trying to be a jerk. And Alister gets so frustrated and hurt when Valon automatically thinks he's rotten that he can't always stay calm either. It's a vicious cycle. You know that?"

Liu meowed.

"Yeah," Raphael smiled a bit and petted her more. "Well, let's just hope they can sort it out. I know it hasn't been easy living together ever since Valon joined us, but when we were with Dartz we kept trying because we had to. And I know I at least wanted to even then. I think Alister did too, at least after a while. And now . . . now we've been trying because we all want to. I felt so empty after my biological family was killed. But then I met Alister, and Valon . . . and you . . . and I didn't feel empty anymore. I want us to all be a family. I hope those two can find a way."

Liu started to knead her front paws into Raphael's chest. He watched her, further amused. Yet at the same time, he wanted to believe the foreboding feeling in his heart wasn't anything more than paranoia. But . . . was it? Maybe he should go after them after all.

Setting Liu down on the chair, he petted her and headed for the door. "I'm gonna make sure they're okay," he said.

Liu meowed as if in approval.

xxxx

Alister gripped the motorcycle handlebars as he rode up and down the city streets in search of his wayward and foolish associate. So far nothing. And despite Raphael's words, he still felt practically as empty as he had been feeling for years.

What Raphael had said was nice. It was refreshing to think that they could all be a family, that maybe each of them wanted to be and felt that bond, even Valon. But it was a fantasy. Alister had known from the moment he and Valon met that they would never get along, while Raphael had tried to keep the hope that they could make it work. Occasionally Alister had allowed himself to hope too, but he was always let down. Some people were just toxic together. It was obvious that he and Valon were among that number. He should just put everyone out of their misery and accept the reality of the situation even though Raphael would not.

 _It's better not to open your heart,_ he thought bitterly. _Not when it's been shattered so many times already. I thought my heart had died with Miruko. But I came to care so much about Raphael . . . and Valon too. . . . And what has it brought any of us? Just more heartache and pain._

But he frowned. That wasn't true, at least not on Raphael's part. Raphael responded to Alister's caring and cared about him in turn. He had been completely sincere when he had said how he didn't want Alister to leave.

Valon, though . . . after seeing how impossible it was for them to get along, he would surely be glad if they weren't in the same house.

Maybe. . . .

Raphael had told him once that Valon felt very similarly about the futility of opening his heart, but whereas Alister's loved ones seemed to always leave by dying, Valon had that happen once with Mother Mary and then sometimes, others left by betraying him. That was why he didn't trust people. They had different reasons for feeling they couldn't open their hearts, but deep down, neither of them wanted to face the pain. Alister was afraid. Maybe Valon was too.

Valon, afraid? That sounded like a laugh. Valon was fearless. That was why he got into so many dangerous situations in the first place!

Only . . . maybe Valon just wasn't afraid of death-defying stunts. He could scare the daylights out of Alister by doing the crazy things he did on his motorcycle, but maybe that was nothing to him. Maybe . . . if he was afraid of anything . . . it was of being vulnerable. Of being betrayed again. Of opening his heart and being let down.

Maybe he was a lot more sensitive than Alister gave him credit for.

He had to wonder if Valon would ever come to the same realization about him.

In any case . . . maybe he owed all of them one more chance, like Raphael had implored. Maybe if they could all just talk things out, they could find a solution that would work for them. One that didn't involve Alister leaving.

It was a nice thought.

xxxx

Raphael had been right about Valon's regret. Almost as soon as he'd left the house and climbed on his motorcycle, the realization and guilt stabbed him in the heart.

"What . . . what was I thinking?" he whispered. He looked back at the house, but neither of the others were coming out. "You don't say something like that to anyone other than your worst enemies. Alister . . . he's . . ."

He shook his head. Alister had just stared at him, stunned into silence. And now that he knew Alister could be hurt by his words, he was pretty sure his parting comment had dug deep.

Maybe he should go back. . . .

He glanced at the clock on his motorcycle. It was almost time for him to meet Rocky for their drag race. He would only make it if he left now. If he was late, Rocky would probably proclaim himself the winner by default. And Valon didn't want to give that smug creep the satisfaction.

 _Alister knows I say stuff I don't mean,_ he rationalized. _I'll say I'm sorry when I get back. Maybe I'll bring a pizza or something as a peace offering._

So he revved the motorcycle and sped off to the previously decided location, an out-of-the-way park not often patrolled by law enforcement.

The entire gang was waiting for him when he arrived. "Well, it's about time," Rocky sneered, pushing away from his motorcycle. "We thought you were standing us up, punk."

"I never back down from a challenge," Valon shot back.

"Yeah, well, we thought maybe your friends thought you should stay home and go beddy-bye instead," Tanya giggled. "You know, 'cause you're too young to play with the big boys."

Valon clenched his teeth. "We'll see who's too young."

Rocky casually swung up onto his motorcycle. "We sure will."

They took off, with Tanya and the other gang members Rambo, Angel, and André flanking them on both sides, keeping score and watching closely to make sure Rocky came out the winner. Valon wouldn't have been surprised if they had planned to sabotage the race, so he kept a close eye on them as well as Rocky.

The race was fast, hard, and dangerous, with more than a few daring stunts thrown in the mix. As far as Valon was concerned, it was just the way he liked it. And when he came out the winner fair and square, he liked that even more.

"Well, what do you think now?" he smirked as he spun to a stop and turned to face his opponent.

Rocky took off his helmet, letting his spiked purple hair bounce free. "I still think you're a punk," he growled. "And no one beats me at anything."

Valon glowered. "So we're gonna fight?"

"You got it." Rocky took out a long chain.

Valon wasn't really surprised. "Then bring it on."

He had wanted to believe he could handle the entire motorcycle gang on his own, but it was not to be. There were just too many. The girls were just as tough, or moreso, than the boys. What was worse, the gang was apparently much bigger than just the five he had previously met. Other motorcycles were roaring onto the scene. And as they all spun circles around him and swung chains and pipes in his general direction while he dodged and grabbed their weapons and pulled them away, he had to admit that he was getting nervous. Every time he thought one no longer had a weapon, another appeared.

When another motorcycle appeared and got between Valon and the gang, he was all at once relieved, confused, and stunned. He recognized the motorcycle and its rider, and after what had happened earlier that night, this was the last person Valon had imagined would come to his rescue. "Alister," he whispered.

The battle continued, but it was easier with an ally. Several enemy riders soon went flying from the duo's tricks. Several more gave up and rode off. The rest were angrier than ever. When one of them tried to send Valon flying with a chain, Alister got in the way and grabbed hold of it, pulling the enemy off his bike and to the ground.

Another chain whipped out from behind and wrapped around Alister's bare waist. Valon cried out in alarm as Alister went flying several feet before crashing to the ground and rolling several more feet. Then he hit a chainlink fence and was still.

"Alister!" Valon screamed. "You'll pay for that!" He spat a harsh curse at the gang and dove in, picking up an abandoned pipe as he went. Memories flashed through his mind of attacking and beating up the gang he had believed had burned the church down in Australia, and of what his rage had cost him, but even that didn't slow him down. Blindly he struck out at one enemy and then another and another, until all the rest were both injured and afraid and retreating from the scene. Only then did Valon slow down and let the pipe fall from his hand.

Alister was still laying where he had fallen. Only now did Valon notice that his helmet had come off sometime during the attack. It had rolled off into the grass, and on the ground near Alister was a rock. . . .

"No," Valon choked out. He ran over, dropping to his knees next to the older man. "Alister! Come on, get up!" He shook Alister on the shoulder, to no avail.

Next Valon ran his hand down Alister's neck and spine. As far as he could tell, Alister's neck and back were perfectly intact. But as he continued searching, his fingers ran over a bump on Alister's head.

"You idiot," Valon spat. "Alister?!"

Gently he turned Alister onto his back, a task Valon had been dreading. Alister fell limply into place, the cruel chain marks on his waist standing out against his pale skin.

Valon shakily reached out, touching one of the marks. "You did this for me," he said, his voice trembling. "See, this is why I always say I fight for myself. If you fight for others, you get hurt, idiot! You get hurt. . . ." He trailed off, slamming his fist into the grass. Alister showed no signs of reacting or that he had even heard Valon at all.

"Alister?" Valon's voice was starting to lose its fire, revealing the scared kid underneath. "Alister, I didn't mean all of those rotten things I said before I left. You were right that it was stupid to go off to face that guy. It was all so pointless. . . . Now I just feel so empty inside. I didn't teach him anything. And I'd be in real bad shape if you hadn't shown up to help me. I just . . . it's hard to get used to knowing someone actually cares about me again. I keep thinking there must be an angle, because there always has been. And then I don't wanna feel babied either, not when I've been taking care of myself for years. . . . But you don't have an angle and you're just worried about me, and . . . Alister, for crying out loud! Wake up!"

But Alister lay silent and still in the grass. Valon wasn't even really sure he was breathing. But he had to be breathing, because if he wasn't . . . if he wasn't . . .

"Oh Alister . . . no. . . ." Valon reached out, lifting Alister's upper body into his arms. "Wake up. . . ."

Alister slumped against Valon, limp and lifeless. Valon's eyes filled with rare tears. He laid a hand on Alister's head, gently supporting the weak neck. "Come back, chum. . . . Don't leave me like this! . . ."

He had never thought he would refer to Alister in that way and mean it. But he had thought of Alister as a friend for some time now. He had just never let himself acknowledge it before, out of pride and maybe out of fear that Alister didn't feel the same way.

"My friend," he whispered. "My best friend. . . ."

Still shaking, he dug his cellphone out of his pocket with his free hand and hit the Speed-Dial button for Raphael's number. _Come on. . . . Pick up. . . ._

 _Click._ "Valon?"

"Raph . . . !" Valon's voice caught in his throat. "We need help. . . ."

"What happened?!"

"I won the race, but Rocky was a poor sport and had his whole gang come after me . . . and Alister showed up to help me thrash them. . . . He protected me, but . . . he got hurt. . . ." _He was just hurt. . . . He had to just be hurt. . . ._

"How bad?!" Raphael demanded.

"I don't know," Valon helplessly wailed. "I think he might've hit his head on a rock. . . ."

Raphael growled. "Where are you? I've been trying to find the place and I'm coming up short."

"I don't know exactly," Valon said. "Everything's still new around here. We're in a park, somewhere, but it's not the main park. It's kind of an out of the way place."

"I'll find it," Raphael promised.

"Raph . . ." Valon hadn't intended to keep him on the phone, but now he was scared of hanging up, of being alone with Alister's body. "After we fought and all, why did he still come after me? Why did he risk his life against that gang when he knew I might not even be grateful?"

"Do you really not know?" Raphael returned. He was the best at holding his temper of the three of them, but Valon could hear the edge in his voice. He was sick of the problems between his two friends and sick of the lack of understanding that allowed the problems to always flourish. And right now, he was starting to wonder if Alister was right that it would never work . . . and worse, if now Alister would never be coming home for another reason.

But Valon swallowed hard. "I know," he said softly. "He loves me. That idiot loves me."

"And that means he'll always say and do what he feels is best for you, whether he thinks you'll be grateful or not."

"Yeah. . . . I never knew anyone like that, 'cept Mother Mary. And maybe with her I kinda figured . . . you know, that it was 'cause she was a nun that made her be that way, instead of caring about me personally. But deep down, I knew she loved me. Then she was gone and I had no one . . . until Dartz took me and put me with you two. . . . And Alister's only four years older than me, so I guess I always resented whenever he didn't like something I was doing. I mean, I had to fight off bullies that much older than me."

"Surely you never equated Alister with them."

"Nah. . . . It's the age thing mostly, I guess. And the fact that he doesn't know what it's like to grow up on the streets or all alone. I felt like he didn't have the right to decide what I should do."

"He probably understands it more than you might think. You and I had to be alone, it's true, but Alister had to be the adult to a younger boy when he was still a kid himself. He had to learn about responsibility in a way that we might not understand, because he wasn't just looking out for himself. He had to be a lot more careful. And when you came along, he started to act like that with you because you were someone for him to look out for again and he didn't want you hurt. _Especially_ since he hadn't been able to protect his brother."

"I don't wanna just be a way for him to not feel so guilty about the past either," Valon frowned.

"That's not the point," Raphael growled. "You could never take the place of Miruko. Saving you wouldn't erase that he couldn't save Miruko."

"He just doesn't wanna lose anyone else he cares about," Valon whispered.

"That's right," Raphael agreed.

". . . I never thought of it like that," Valon said in dismay. "'Course, I don't like when you tell me you don't like what I'm doing either. . . . Oh, I don't know! I just want Alister back. I spent a lot of the time we were with Dartz thinking about when he wouldn't be around anymore to bug me, and then when he really was gone, I wanted him back, and . . ." He trailed off, squeezing his eyes shut. His voice caught in his throat.

Raphael let the matter drop. "Hopefully I'll find you two soon," he said. "Sit tight and try to wake Alister up. If you can't, you'd better call an ambulance."

"Right." Valon hung up and shoved the phone back in his pocket.

Alister hadn't stirred all during the conversation. He was still slumped against Valon, his eyes closed. Valon had been too afraid to check for a pulse, fearing he wouldn't find one, but now he was sure he felt Alister's breath on his neck. Unless it was just wishful thinking. . . .

"Come on, chum," Valon begged. "You've gotta wake up. It's my fault we're in this mess. If you . . . kick it . . . that'll be my fault too. . . ." He brought his other arm around Alister now, holding his friend close as he shook with silent tears.

Had he ever cried for anyone since Mother Mary's death? Had anyone else ever meant that much to him, even Mai?

He had felt so empty and alone for years, refusing to even try to make friends with anyone. There was always an angle, always a betrayal, right around the corner. He had learned he couldn't trust anyone but himself. That was why he hadn't wanted to be a team player in Dartz's organization. But he had liked Raphael right away and had sensed something different about him. Raphael had respected him as no one else ever had, and Valon had responded to that.

Alister . . . well . . . he had never met anyone who annoyed him so much in all his life. Always complaining or criticizing, when he spoke at all. Nothing Valon ever did was good enough. Then again, Alister had revealed that he'd had the same impression of what Valon thought of him. But despite getting those misunderstandings out into the open, they were still having problems.

Then Valon had met Mai and had seen in her a kindred spirit, someone else who didn't want help or friends and fought her battles alone. But in the end, Valon had shown he wanted to fight for her. And she had left, probably to win more battles in order to feel good about herself. She didn't understand that she didn't have to do that before she could present herself to Joey or Valon. They both loved her and would accept her just as she was, flaws and all.

Just as Alister and Raphael felt about him. . . . They were all polar opposites, yet they were the ones who had looked for Valon and refused to give up until they found him. Valon couldn't relate to them on a lot of things, but he could on some, and they were the ones who had proved themselves his best friends. And heck, maybe if he actually talked with them more, he would find more to relate to than he'd thought. . . .

"You're wrong, Valon," Alister suddenly mumbled, nearly startling Valon out of his mind. "I chose to be here. It's not your fault."

Valon yelped, almost dropping Alister into the grass. "How long have you been awake?!" he screamed instead.

"I just woke up. Your voice brought me back. But Valon . . ." Alister grimaced. "You're making this headache worse." He held a hand to his head.

". . . Oh." Valon lowered his voice to normal tones. "Sorry. Alister . . . you could've been killed. Are you badly hurt?!"

"I'm alright. Or I will be, with some rest." Alister pushed away from Valon, trying to sit up on his own.

Valon watched him, but didn't make a move to assist. He knew it was important to try to do things on one's own . . . unless it was obvious that couldn't be done. Alister had jumped in when Valon couldn't protect himself. Valon would help if Alister couldn't manage by himself.

"I . . . I am so sorry . . . about what I said," Valon said sadly. "Maybe it was your choice to come out here, but you wouldn't have done it if you hadn't been worried about me. I shouldn't have blown up at you and I shouldn't have left in a huff."

"I wish you hadn't," Alister dryly admitted. "But I got upset too."

"Because you were worried," Valon said. "And you had a right to be. You and Raph . . . you're the first people in years who've had a right to be. I was empty and alone for years before I found you two, and even after I did, I couldn't really admit that I was glad to be with you. I just . . . I didn't wanna be hurt again."

"I didn't either," Alister said. "Opening your heart again is always hard. It takes a lot of courage and hope. I wasn't ready to admit I wanted to try for a long time. I think we both found it was easy with Raph, but with each other . . . that was something else again."

Valon nodded forlornly. "If you hadn't woke up . . . I don't know what I would've done. You . . . you're my friend, Alister. I mean that. I never used to think I could mean it about you, but I was so wrong."

Alister stared. At times he had longed to hear those words. Now that he was, it seemed too incredible to be real. "I never thought you would either," he finally said. "Do you feel like that just because I saved your life?"

"No!" Valon insisted. "I've felt like that for a long time. What you did tonight was just what made me acknowledge it, to myself and to you. And . . . I was afraid it was too late."

"Thankfully, it wasn't," Alister said. "And you're my friend too, Valon." He hesitated. "Does this mean you do want us to keep living together?"

"Yeah," Valon confirmed. "If you'll have me after everything I said and did. . . ."

"And if you'll have me," Alister said.

Valon smiled and held out his hand. "Right on, Mate."

Alister took the boy's hand and firmly grasped it. Just a couple of hours ago, he had thought the only solution was to leave. Now he knew it wasn't. It might still be a bumpy road; families argued, after all, as Raphael had pointed out. But this family was worth salvaging. From the way Valon was looking back at him, he felt the same.

"Then here's to family," Alister said.

Valon nodded. "And true friends." He grinned. "Won't Raph be surprised when he gets here!"

"But it'll be a good surprise. To know we want to be together, and with Raph . . . it takes the emptiness away."

Instead of complaining that was cheesy, Valon just looked thoughtful and slowly nodded. "Yeah . . . it does," he mused. "It really does." He smiled. "And it feels good."

Alister nodded in complete agreement. "It does." As he shifted position, he winced and looked down at the sore chain marks across his middle. That enemy biker had definitely done a number on him.

"You know, if you'd just cover that up like normal blokes, maybe the chain wouldn't have dug that deep," Valon said.

"Okay, I'll give you that," Alister conceded.

Valon paused and blinked. "You . . . what?"

"That doesn't mean I'll stop wearing what I want to wear," Alister said. "But for a gang war, it's not the most appropriate dress. I wasn't expecting to be lassoed."

"Hey, in a gang war, you've gotta expect that anything can happen," Valon said. "I learned that long ago."

Alister paused now, really looking at Valon.

The boy shifted in discomfort. "What?!"

"I was just thinking," Alister said. "Your childhood was stolen from you the same as it was from Raphael and me. You act reckless and immature sometimes, but there's another side to you."

"Yeah, well . . ." Valon averted his gaze. "I just don't like acting serious all the time, like you and Raph do. I still like to have fun."

"I just wish your 'fun' wasn't always so dangerous," Alister remarked.

A shrug. "Maybe I can find some other hobbies. I've had my eye on a videogame or two."

"I guess that's an improvement," Alister said. "As long as it's not something like _Grand Theft Auto_. Those games are sick."

"Nah. . . . Probably more like _Street Fighter_."

"That figures," Alister grunted.

The headlights of a car startled them both to attention. "Raph," Valon said in relief.

The door opened and Raphael ran out, worry as well as guilt shining in his eyes. He wished now that he had joined Alister in the first place, instead of leaving it up to him to help Valon. "Alister, are you alright?!" he demanded.

"Yes, I am." Alister smiled as he looked up at Raphael. "For the first time in a long while . . . I'm really alright."

Raphael rocked back. He understood the deeper meaning behind Alister's words. And as Valon helped him up, joy filled his heart. Alister was alright, yes, and so was their family. No one was going to be leaving, for any reason.

Smiling now too, Raphael got on Alister's other side and together they all walked to the car, united at last.


End file.
